Monday, January 13, 2014

I used to…

Lately, I have found myself saying and thinking lots of things that begin with, I used to…

I used to be able to eat bread now and then without spiking too terribly.  Now I can’t.

I used to be able to take a higher-than-it-should-be glucose reading down to normal just by walking on my treadmill.  Exercise still does great things for my blood glucose but it never takes me down to normal any more.

I used to be able to bounce back from over-eating and get back on track without issue.  Not so much these days.

I used to be able to shake off the blues and get over it within a day or so.  Now?  Meh.

I need to get passed this ridiculous habit of wishing for what used to be and grasp the reality that my diabetes has progressed.  I also need to remember that:

I used to be able to touch my toes.  Honest!

I used to be able to stay up half the night and still function the next day.

I used to be able to get up off the floor without grunting.  (I can’t believe that I just admitted that I grunt/groan when getting off the floor.  Hey, at least I can still do it on my own!)

I used to eat a waaaaay too much pizza at one sitting.  That’s not something to brag about.

My point is that things change.  My diabetes has changed and I need to get a grip and deal with that fact instead of wishing for things that used to be.  I’m still struggling more than I’d like but, dammit, I don’t intend to give up the good fight.  I have tools.  I have skillz.  I intend to keep using them and I will, again, kick diabetes’s butt.  (You have no idea how much better I feel since I wrote this.  Score!)