We live in what some people
would call “the boonies”. Our town is
small with only the bare minimum of services and shopping. We aren’t far from a larger town and we go
there at least twice a month to shop. It
can be inconvenient, especially in the winter, but it isn’t so bad. We’re willing to put up with inconveniences
because we love where we live. What
matters is being happy in our home.
I recently wrote about being in a
funk. It’s not my favorite place but I
usually snap out of it fairly quickly.
Not so much this time. About the
time I climb up to the rim of the hole, something happens to knock me back down
a few feet. My elderly mom’s miserable
life. Family issues. Frustration over the latest problems with my
D control. I can’t seem to catch a
break. I need to remember to focus on
what matters.
I love the DOC. I appreciate the camaraderie and support that
you can find among the other people who are living with diabetes, either their
own or someone’s D that they care about.
PWD and D caregivers are awesome people.
We “get it”. Underneath all the
support it’s important to remember to take care of yourself. Support is good but taking care of yourself
is better. In other words; I can’t rely
on others to make me feel better. I have
to do this myself. How I climb out of
this hole matters in the long run. I
need to hone my skilz.
One of my recent struggles
revolves around trying to be an advocate for others when I feel so out of
control myself. I do a LOT of reading up
on new ideas and food plans, supplements and ways to exercise. Mostly that’s good, but lately it is taking
its toll on me. I’m increasingly
frustrated that I can’t get my fasting numbers under control and that my weight
is creeping up for no apparent reason. I’m
bummed and reading about ways to fix it just upsets me and adds to my
frustration.
I’ve made a decision to
disconnect for a little bit. I’m going to
step back a little and focus on what matters.
As much as I enjoy social media I think I’ll just stop going there for a
while. I’m going to try to stop researching so much and just focus on what I
already know. I can do this; I know that
I can. I’m not going away; I’m just
switching my focus for a time. How
long? Maybe a week, maybe longer. I don’t know.
What matters? Right now, I do. Right now my diabetes matters most. When I have a better grip on things then I
can be a better advocate. I still want
to help others; I just have to help myself first. That’s what matters.