Warning: Unhappy rant ahead.
Today, I’m tired. I’m tired of dealing with this crappy disease. I’m tired of thinking about every piece of food that I put into my mouth. I’m tired of having to think! I’m tired of reading article after article that says I’m going to die in some horrible way, and that it’s all because “I did this to myself!!” I say BULLSHIT!
What makes one life more precious than another? Who’s to say that someone with cancer deserves more pity and understanding than someone who has diabetes? Why is it that the world feels the need to find a cure for cancer but a cure for diabetes isn’t as important?
People are so freakin’ self- righteous while hiding behind their computer screens. So many people make comments after online articles regarding type 2 diabetes that indicate that they are above all the rest because they would never eat themselves into such a disease. I say BULLSHIT! Just look at the condition of our society’s health and eating habits and it’s obvious that the majority of people don’t eat a healthy diet. Yes, some may do better than others, but the person who eats a healthy diet 24/7 is rare. Everyone indulges in pizza now and then. Everyone has a piece of birthday cake. Everyone gives in to the box of donuts at work. So why, I ask, am I vilified because I did those things too? It completely sucks that I can no longer do those things without paying a price.
I’ve said before that my diagnosis probably saved my life. I am healthier now than I’ve been since my teens. I took my diagnosis and used it to make healthy changes to my life. Does that mean I’m always happy about it? NO! Today I’m not happy about it. I’m still proud of myself for the changes that I’ve made but that doesn’t mean that I don’t long for the days when I could eat whatever the hell I wanted. Yeah, yeah, I know that eating that way wasn’t good for me but I still miss having that freedom.
My current food plan is satisfying. I’m not missing or craving very much these days. This weekend I was confronted with a ridiculously sweet birthday cake for my mother’s 94th birthday and didn’t mind much at all that I wasn’t going to have a piece of it, but I’m crying right now just thinking about the fact that I couldn’t. How stupid is that? It isn’t fair! It isn’t right! I HATE MY DIABETES!