Saturday, April 7, 2012

Who’s Really in Charge Here?

I’ve written a lot, on this blog, about how we as PWD need to take charge of our condition and own it.  It’s up to us to find out the types of foods we can eat and what level of exercise will help us to be healthier.  I still believe all these things with all my being, however, today I’m left wondering just who is in charge, really.

It’s probably mood related but I found myself in a funk yesterday afternoon.  I had a higher-than-I-like bg reading 2 hours after lunch.  I ate something completely reasonable and in line with my recent dietary changes.  I had already walked 30 minutes on the treadmill and did some leaf raking in the yard.  So tell me why, diabetes, are you doing this to me now?  
Days like yesterday totally suck.  Days when you are doing everything “right” and still have stupid bg readings.  I can understand when I splurge at dinner or have a heavier carb snack in the afternoon; times like those a higher reading is somewhat expected…but not this day!  Not when I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing!

Yes, I am in charge and take ownership of my care, but when diabetes rears its ugly head and forces me to exercise to bring down a high, it feels more like The D is really in charge.  I’m proud of the fact that I went to the exercise bike and rode for 30 minutes after testing my bg. (it came down to 112 after which is totally cool.) I like that I took control of the situation but it totally sucks that I had to do it in the first place!  Given the choice I would have preferred to kick back and read a little or spend some time in the yard contemplating some landscaping changes, but nooo, diabetes had other plans. I know that I could have ignored that higher glucose reading and gone ahead with my own plans, but I know I wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much with that &%##! number hanging over my head.

I guess that the bottom line is that diabetes is a part of our lives, whether we like it or not.  There will always be days like yesterday that totally frack up our plans, but we can’t give in.  I can rail and rant and bitch about this all I want but, unfortunately, that doesn’t cause the bg to go down.  (Wouldn’t it be lovely if it did?)  I’m proud of myself for taking action instead of letting a stupid number ruin my day.  I guess I am in charge!  Imagine that.

I’m participating in Wego Health’s Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge.  I’m posting every day in April.  #HAWMC

1 comment:

  1. You know, it's days like that (and we all have them) that make me really resent the phrase "control your diabetes". Because we don't, we can't, diabetes sometimes has a mind of it's own. I always say "manage my diabetes" instead, because as hard as I work, I will never really be in control.


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