Sunday, March 27, 2011
Hello, my name is Kate and I’m a food-aholic. I’ve been addicted to food since, well, forever. Maybe it was that first taste of ice cream my mother gave me in my highchair or those potato chips nestled beside my PBJ that got me hooked. I can’t say for sure but there it is.
I’ve tried stopping food cold turkey (mmmm…doesn’t that sound good?) but failed miserably. So now I’m on the “food in moderation” plan but it can be so difficult! Do you know that everywhere you look there’s food? Just try watching tv without seeing a commercial that includes some scrumptious food item that you simply HAVE to try! Have you been to the store lately? The dang thing is chock full of FOOD! Those people should be arrested. I’ve secretly began calling the local Safeway manager “pusher”. She seems like a nice lady but underneath that sweet exterior is the face of the devil! How in the world do they expect me to kick this habit if they keep throwing it in my face? (that brings to mind a pie in the face game at the fair. I think I’ll sign up)
Now before someone gets their panties in a twist about how I’m belittling true addictions, let me just say that I’m fully aware of how horrible an addiction can be. I’ve seen alcoholism up close and personal (no, not me) and it’s not a pretty sight. We’ve all read articles and seen shows that depict drug addiction and how it can ruin a person’s life. I feel for these people and can imagine what a horrible life that must be, but you know what? I almost feel sorrier for us food-aholics! Think about it; an alcoholic can eventually live without booze. Once the habit is kicked, they never again have to drink alcohol. They may want to for the rest of their lives, but if they don’t drink they won’t die. A food-aholic on the other hand can’t live without food! Just try it, I dare you. I predict that you won’t succeed in this lifetime. (haha). I wish I didn’t think about food all the time.
My mother has never driven a car. Soon after I graduated from high school she gave me the down payment on my first car (a sweet, used VW bug). There was a catch: I had to drive her to town whenever she wanted to go. (We are required to drive 30 miles in order to get our shopping fix). There we were, heading up the hill out of town. We’d look at each other and in unison say: “Where shall we have lunch!?” I tell you, it’s a curse.
Please don’t feel bad for me. There’s hope! You see, I would very much like to live to a ripe old age. Not only that, I want to be as healthy as possible with all my appendages intact. I’d like to be able to read a book and go for a walk with my great-grandchildren. I want to sit on the deck with my sweet husband and watch the sunset. (note to self: build that deck.) Therefore, I’m committed to living with my addiction. I will browse the veggie section of my local store and curb my cravings for cookies. I will envision little horns on top of each cake in the bakery department (even the angel food for now). I know that I can have a small treat now and then. I know that I can have most things in moderation. For now I need to keep it simple and keep it healthy. You know that commercial for Lay's potato chips, "No one can eat just one!" that would be me. I suck at stopping at just one of anything that I shouldn't over indulge in. I can do this! Food-aholics unite!