Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Clean it out



All week, I’ll be participating in the 6th annual Dblog Week, brainchild of my friend, Karen Graffeo over at Bittersweetdiabetes.com. It’s a wonderful way to connect with others in the diabetes online community by reading other folks’ thoughts on the same subject. At the bottom of each of my posts I’ll post a link to take you to a long list of blogs you can check out.

Clean it out

Yesterday we kept stuff in, so today let's clear stuff out.  What is in your diabetic closet that needs to be cleaned out?  This can be an actual physical belonging, or it can be something you're mentally or emotionally hanging on to.  Why are you keeping it and why do you need to get rid of it?

Guilt. Deep-seated, totally misplaced, gut-wrenching guilt. No matter how much I learn. Regardless of the countless times I read that it wasn’t my fault. My brain can tell me that I’m not to blame, but my heart can’t let go of the guilt.

If I’d been a healthier eater. If I only loved to run. If I just didn’t find processed carbs so addicting. If only. If only. I can’t let it go.

Silly, isn’t it? Emotions are an amazingly strong thing. I can build myself up and it only takes one stray comment or implied slight to cause me to buy into the misplaced guilt that is heaped upon those of us who have developed type 2 diabetes.

Why can’t I let it go? Because it’s easy to believe the bad stuff. It’s easy to take the blame. It’s hard to fight the stigma and sometimes I just cave.
  
I have to let it go because it’s untrue and unhealthy. Someday, maybe. Someday.

Go here to find other blogs on this topic.




 

5 comments:

  1. Of all the negative emotions that exist, I think guilt is one of the very worst. It is virtually impossible to let go. I'll tell you what everyone else always does. . . It's not your fault. My words won't help you release that guilt but I'll say them anyway because they are true. When negative things pop into my head I turn my thoughts to something positive. I personally use happy memories of trips I've been on. I hope you are able to let go of that guilt!!

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  2. Nothing I say will change how you feel, but I think it's admirable that you're sharing your feelings. xo

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  3. The main advantage of having Type 1 instead of Type 2 is that today I can talk about closets full of old hardware and you have to talk about guilt. It's hard to tell which is the "bad" kind of diabetes....

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  4. I know the feeling of guilt all too well. Thank you for sharing so openly. Lots of love, my friend.

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  5. Oh Kate - I think all of us - d or no d, have some guilt for something in our lives. I truly hate the Type 2 Guilt, though. It's just not fair. Really!

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