Sunday, October 20, 2013

What matters



We live in what some people would call “the boonies”.  Our town is small with only the bare minimum of services and shopping.  We aren’t far from a larger town and we go there at least twice a month to shop.  It can be inconvenient, especially in the winter, but it isn’t so bad.  We’re willing to put up with inconveniences because we love where we live.  What matters is being happy in our home.

I recently wrote about being in a funk.  It’s not my favorite place but I usually snap out of it fairly quickly.  Not so much this time.  About the time I climb up to the rim of the hole, something happens to knock me back down a few feet.  My elderly mom’s miserable life.  Family issues.  Frustration over the latest problems with my D control.  I can’t seem to catch a break.  I need to remember to focus on what matters.

I love the DOC.  I appreciate the camaraderie and support that you can find among the other people who are living with diabetes, either their own or someone’s D that they care about.  PWD and D caregivers are awesome people.  We “get it”.  Underneath all the support it’s important to remember to take care of yourself.  Support is good but taking care of yourself is better.  In other words; I can’t rely on others to make me feel better.  I have to do this myself.  How I climb out of this hole matters in the long run.  I need to hone my skilz.

One of my recent struggles revolves around trying to be an advocate for others when I feel so out of control myself.  I do a LOT of reading up on new ideas and food plans, supplements and ways to exercise.  Mostly that’s good, but lately it is taking its toll on me.  I’m increasingly frustrated that I can’t get my fasting numbers under control and that my weight is creeping up for no apparent reason.  I’m bummed and reading about ways to fix it just upsets me and adds to my frustration.

I’ve made a decision to disconnect for a little bit.  I’m going to step back a little and focus on what matters.  As much as I enjoy social media I think I’ll just stop going there for a while. I’m going to try to stop researching so much and just focus on what I already know.  I can do this; I know that I can.  I’m not going away; I’m just switching my focus for a time.  How long?  Maybe a week, maybe longer.  I don’t know.

What matters?  Right now, I do.  Right now my diabetes matters most.  When I have a better grip on things then I can be a better advocate.  I still want to help others; I just have to help myself first.  That’s what matters.

4 comments:

  1. oh kate. i'm sort of at the same place you are, and totally understand what you're going through. you take all the time you need to focus on "you". and know that when you need us, we'll all be there for you!
    take care of yourself, and for a little chuckle watch this video! http://youtu.be/4A6Bu96ALOw

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  2. Hang in there, my friend. And I hope your break leaves you feeling refreshed and recharged.

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  3. We all need a break. We'll be here waiting for you.

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