Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Mostly Gone; Not Forgotten



There’s a woman I know.  She didn’t often think about her health.  She didn’t exercise regularly, although she was fairly active.  She weighed too much and didn’t like it but never seemed to be able to tame that beast.  She adored foods that weren’t necessarily good for her like mac n’ cheese, pastries, donuts, cake, pasta, pizza and fast food in general.  She was a very nice woman; intelligent, humorous, loving and fun.  I liked her.  Her name was Kate; Kate pre-2005; Kate before her diagnosis.

I’d like to think that the non-healthy aspects of Kate are gone and only reside in the past.  Silly me.  That Kate and today’s Kate still live together in this body.  Sometimes that other Kate peeks out and makes her presence known.  Sometimes she takes over and her not-so-healthy ways rear their ugly head.  The cravings for processed foods, sugar etc. still exist inside of me.  They are not gone and I can’t forget that.  It’s frustrating and mind boggling to me that it only takes one slip to fall back into bad habits.   Only one taste of something that isn’t good for me and suddenly I can’t get enough.  That Kate still exists.  My job is to control her the best I can; to not let her take over and put me back at square one.

I know that it’s ok to splurge now and then.  I know that it’s ok to give in, but as I’ve said before: I don’t do well with “just a little”.  I know that about myself and need to remember that.

I’ve been struggling with that other Kate lately.  So what am I going to do about it?  I’ve planned to have things in the house that I can eat and still remain in control.  For instance, once I’m done typing this post I plan to make Pumpkin Pie cups.  I adore pumpkin pie so I’m going to make the filling (lower carb version) and put it into small cups that I have so that I can have a small treat when appropriate.  I bought some mini bell peppers and can snack on them.  (I’d forgotten how much I like them!)  I boiled some eggs because I love egg salad wraps.  I’m arming myself with things to feed that other Kate so she won’t get out of control.  She won’t!

My point is that it’s ludicrous to think that we can flip a switch and never crave those things we used to eat, no matter how long we’ve been at this diabetes thing.  It’s important to remember that the way we used to eat wasn’t healthy and we need to stop eating that way to the best of our ability.  I need to work on not beating myself up whenever the other Kate comes to visit.  She’s a nice person, she really is.  She’s just not as educated as I am about what’s best for us.  Maybe someday she’ll learn and, when she comes to visit, we can share some hummus and bell peppers together.

12 comments:

  1. I am in the same boat, the old me keeps popping up. I would really really like to have the courage to quit sugar.

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  2. I'm much the same, Kate. Even in the way I think I can just "flip that switch" which has never worked for me, either.

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  3. I think liking "old" Kate makes it easier for "new" Kate to be happier (and healthier). Or at least that's true for Sara ;)

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  4. Same here, Kate - though in my world, since I was diagnosed so young, it's not really "old" Mike but that "other" Mike. Bad habits of eating way too much and not carb-counting or dosing accurately (if at all) in the evenings is my biggest weakness, and I often find myself battling myself. Wish it was as easy as "flipping a switch," especially since I seem to know what exactly I need to do, it's getting past that laziness and lack of willpower that's my biggest hurdle... here's to hoping we both find what we need to muster the strength to embrace those habits we need to! Thanks for sharing this.

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  5. I am going through the same thing right now .....or at least since Christmas! I was diagnosed last August and really did well, then fell off. And off, and even more off! Sugary treats are my downfall, and your remark about the low-carb pumpkin treats is a good reminder. If I have something like that for just a little "sweet" after a meal or for a snack, I am fine. It is when there is nothing that the Oreos and ice cream come out. Thank you for this timely reminder. Back to the food log for me, as well.

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  6. Great post... very insightful. There's something in there for all of us.

    BTW, I would love to see that Pumpkin Pie Cup recipe...

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  7. Kate,

    Your words have never failed to touch me. You were the first person who ever followed my blog when I started it on Blogger (moved to WordPress about a year ago), and I have continued to read your posts. Thank you for sharing your journey publicly. I think we all have Kates who come back for a visit every now and then.

    Thanks,
    Phil

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  8. Very well said and good advice, too. Thanks

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  9. Great post, Kate! Makes me feel better that we are not all in this alone!

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  10. I don't miss sugar but I miss my carbohydrates :-( . I'm now 3 months past diagnosis and caving in is infrequent. I realize my bad food habits got me here but I was barely overweight. I can kick myself for allowing things to get here with especially with my genes. It sucks.

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  11. You're on Best of the 'Betes Blogs today:

    http://bigfootchildhavediabetes.com/2013/08/05/best-of-the-betes-blogs-july-edition/

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