Sunday, December 30, 2012

Circles and Loops



There are moments when moving in circles and loops can feel like a waste of time.  Going over and over the same route can seem fruitless.  When I think back over 2012 in regards to my diabetes, it seems as if I’ve been going in circles and loops.  I make some progress and then something changes or I give into temptations, then I’m looping back to start over again. 

I really felt prepared for the holidays this year.  I felt as if I’ve learned enough lessons and have a decent plan for dealing with blood sugar issues.  However, nothing can prepare you for everything; nothing can guarantee that you will follow your plan and not cave into temptation.  Christmas day found a confident Kate who paid attention and didn’t splurge on things she shouldn’t.  Despite being “good”, I saw a 188 on my meter before we even started eating our Christmas dinner.  Where the heck did that come from?  So instead of chowing down, I sat at the table sipping wine and visiting with my wonderful family.  I ate later when my glucose was happier.  I was pleased with my ability to handle the situation and not let it ruin my day.

Then came the days after Christmas.

Suffice it to say that I’ve been less than “good”.  There were too many goodies left around and I caved.  I could waste a lot of time berating myself but I don’t see the point.  It’s time to circle back around and begin again.

Life isn’t a straight road.  There are many bumps and curves and detours.  Life with diabetes is just the same.  It’s silly to think that we can live our lives with diabetes in a straight line, never looking back, never repeating previous “mistakes”.  I feel pretty good about the fact that I can circle back to a time when I was in better control.  I feel confident that I have learned some valuable lessons along the way and, when I do loop around again, I have the tools I need to move forward.

I had a wonderful Christmas with all my kids here at home.  My brother and girlfriend were here as well as our mom.  We had a full house with lots of noise, laughter and love.  I won’t remember that I splurged too much or that my glucose didn’t play well even when I behaved.  I will remember the happy times and that’s what counts.

I accomplished a lot of things this past year in regards to advocacy and my own diabetes management.  I’m proud of a lot of what I’ve done.  I look forward to a new year and hope that this time next year I can be just as happy looking back.  My circles and loops aren’t good or bad, they’re just party of my journey.

This is my contribution the the DSMA Blog Carnival for December.  You can read other great posts here.

5 comments:

  1. Great post, Kate. I don't know of anyone who hasn't looped back a few times -- diabetes or not. Even if we are taking two steps forward and one back, it's still progress, right?

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  2. Kate, it sounds like a terrific holiday. Glad to hear that you gave yourself permission to be less than perfect. Life's much more manageable that way. And sometimes more interesting.

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  3. I love "My circles and loops aren't good or bad, they're just part of my journey" - Your holidays sound like they were wonderful and you behaved well even if diabetes didn't always play well. Your commitment to making the right choices is wonderful and helps me to help my kids make good choices too. Thank you for all the support you have shared in 2012. It is because of you and other DOC folks that 2012 was a better diabetes year for me and my family. Wishing you all the best in 2013!

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  4. I'm so glad you had a wonderful Christmas and that you allowed yourself a few splurges - it think I'd worry more if you were too perfect!! I know you'll circle back around to getting back on track now that the new year is here. Happy New Year!!

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  5. Hi Kate.
    I just came across your excellent blog and you have some nice contributors. I am a PWD too except mine is "Person Without Diabetes" but I was a Person With Diabetes" and reversed it completely. I hold a rare document it is a written clean bill of health from my Doctor declaring me free of type 2 diabetes.
    On reading your blog and comments I see many of the reasons you and some contributors are still fighting with blood glucose highs and lows. It doesn't have to be like that and one time of year should be no different to another because if it is your "Sweet Success" could be a lot sweeter with a slight change of mindset and current beliefs about the condition.
    I'll be back to this blog. Well Done.
    Brendan. BTW if you want my full story go to Type11diabetes.com

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