Tuesday, June 12, 2012

I Say Bullshit!


Warning: Unhappy rant ahead.

Today, I’m tired.  I’m tired of dealing with this crappy disease.  I’m tired of thinking about every piece of food that I put into my mouth.  I’m tired of having to think!  I’m tired of reading article after article that says I’m going to die in some horrible way, and that it’s all because “I did this to myself!!”  I say BULLSHIT!

What makes one life more precious than another?  Who’s to say that someone with cancer deserves more pity and understanding than someone who has diabetes?  Why is it that the world feels the need to find a cure for cancer but a cure for diabetes isn’t as important?

People are so freakin’ self- righteous while hiding behind their computer screens.  So many people make comments after online articles regarding type 2 diabetes that indicate that they are above all the rest because they would never eat themselves into such a disease.  I say BULLSHIT!  Just look at the condition of our society’s health and eating habits and it’s obvious that the majority of people don’t eat a healthy diet.  Yes, some may do better than others, but the person who eats a healthy diet 24/7 is rare.  Everyone indulges in pizza now and then.  Everyone has a piece of birthday cake.  Everyone gives in to the box of donuts at work.  So why, I ask, am I vilified because I did those things too?  It completely sucks that I can no longer do those things without paying a price.

I’ve said before that my diagnosis probably saved my life.  I am healthier now than I’ve been since my teens.  I took my diagnosis and used it to make healthy changes to my life.  Does that mean I’m always happy about it?  NO!  Today I’m not happy about it.  I’m still proud of myself for the changes that I’ve made but that doesn’t mean that I don’t long for the days when I could eat whatever the hell I wanted.  Yeah, yeah, I know that eating that way wasn’t good for me but I still miss having that freedom.

My current food plan is satisfying.  I’m not missing or craving very much these days.  This weekend I was confronted with a ridiculously sweet birthday cake for my mother’s 94th birthday and didn’t mind much at all that I wasn’t going to have a piece of it, but I’m crying right now just thinking about the fact that I couldn’t.  How stupid is that?  It isn’t fair!  It isn’t right!  I HATE MY DIABETES!

13 comments:

  1. I wish I could fly right over there and give you a big hug. And then we would join hands and FIGHT to show people that neither of us wanted or deserved diabetes!! It doesn't matter what type we have - none of us wants this or deserves it. I'm with you - BULLSHIT!!!

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    1. Thanks Karen, that means a lot. I <3 you!

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  2. I hate my diabetes too. I am type 1 but was only diagnosed at age 26. Sometimes I still dream that the lab messed up my blood tests and I'm actually fine and can skip testing my blood sugar or injecting my insulin...I still dream they got it wrong and its 2 YEARS since I was diagnosed. I feel you! Boy do I feel you... :-(

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    1. Hi Zinzi, yeah it sucks for all of us. I went through a period of being certain that the doctors were wrong....they weren't. I'm feeling much better today and am ready to fight the good fight! Thanks for commenting.

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  3. Self-righteousness is awfully hard to put up with. Awfully hard. My own internal word for it is 'arrogance', and it makes me bat-poop crazy.

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    1. Arrogance for sure, Bob! Thanks so much for your support both here and on Twitter. I appreciate your friendship. (bat-poop crazy!!! hehehe)

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  4. Well said! Hope more people read your letter!

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    1. Thank you, Ronel. It would be nice if others understood what we go through just a little bit better.

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    1. Thanks, I know I'm not alone in this. I'm MUCH better today!!

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  6. KAte i feel for you. I was diagnosed with this last July. By november i had taken off 55 lbs and put the thing into remission (downgraded to Glucose Intolerance). It can be defeated with a few lifestyle changes. I am going to start a foundation to show people how to get rid of it naturally

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  7. I say bullshit to diabetes type 2. I am so fed up with taking medication {metformin} and watching what I eat. I have stopped testing my blood months ago and this week I quit my metformin. I am 54 yrs.old and I have decided to live my life the way I want. Big shit I am going to die eventually. Bullshit to diabetes.

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    1. Oh man, I feel you. I’ve felt this way a few times in the years since I was diagnosed, but this blog post was written 2 ½ years ago and I’m still plugging away. Please don’t give up! Yes, we’re all going to die eventually but it’s worth it to put in the effort to make those years the best you can. Ignoring your diabetes will not make you happy. Ignoring your diabetes will eventually make you feel like crap.

      You can see that I received several comments of support here, most of them from people I’ve never met! Connecting with others who understand how you’re feeling makes all the difference in the world. Find a support system whether it’s online or in real life. There are many online forums etc. A few examples are at TuDiabetes.com, diabetesdaily.com or diabetesconnect.com. If you’re on Twitter you might consider some tweet chats like #DSMA or #DCDE. If you’d like to contact me via the contact form in the upper right hand corner of my blog, I’d be happy to listen. PLEASE don’t give up! You are worth the effort.

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