Thursday, September 8, 2011

I Wanted To Be Normal


I’m usually content to be something other than normal.  I revel in it, actually.  I’ve always thought that being a bit “off” is a good thing.  It keeps people guessing and life a little more interesting.

Yesterday was my latest quarterly doctor visit.  It’s usually not a big deal; just something that I have to do.  This time, however, I looked forward to the appointment somewhat like a young child waiting for Christmas to arrive!  The anticipation of finding out what my latest A1c would be was tantalizing!  Exciting!  This could possibly be the day that I would be normal!  I could see it in my mind: the doctor walks in, shakes my hand and says, “Congratulations Kate, your A1c is normal!”  Sweet, sweet words.  Alas, my bubble was burst.

My glucose readings have been so much better lately.  I blogged, in fact, about how my numbers have been so good!  I just knew that would translate into a stellar A1c.  So what was my actual number, you ask?  6.2.  My A1c was 6.2.  It’s been 6.2 for the last year or so.  For those of you who don’t live and breathe diabetes and all its minutia, a normal A1c would be anything under 6.  The goal for PWD is something under 7.  Any sane diabetic would be ecstatic with an A1c of 6.2, but remember, I’m not normal.  (I wouldn’t say that I’m insane but definitely not normal.)  My doctor was surprised that I seemed a bit deflated with the news.  In reality, my visit was successful.  All my labs looked great, I’m losing weight and feeling so much better than a year ago.  Still, there was that nagging disappointment: I didn’t find that one special toy I was hoping to see under the tree.

I need to insert here that I’m aware of the fact that my diabetes won’t go away.  There is a chance that I could gain so much control that my tests would show a normal A1c, however, I will always and forever have to live a diabetic life.  Uncontrolled pizza parties with lemon pie for dessert are not in my future.  That’s ok.  I just wanted that damn number to go down, just once!

I’m not going to dwell on this for long.  In fact, upon waking this morning I was feeling energized and determined to keep on keepin on.  If I continue to work real hard at maintaining my current control I just might be gifted at Christmas time with that sought-after stellar A1c.  After all, I still believe in Santa Claus.

1 comment:

  1. wow! That's an amazing A1C, but I know your thoughts. It's hard when you feel you have been working SO hard and it doesn't show. Hang in there, because I think it will all pay off in the long run.

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